Dumb Brain Spinning Wheels
And getting nowhere.
I’m doing research into a few oddball ideas for making money. It’s, um, I don’t know. Its’ something that I can start with one and try one location first. But it’s also a big commitment upfront. Gotta think harder. My energy is all over the place and spread very thin with all my ridiculous money making schemes. I really wish I had a friend/business partner locally and we could help each other. But I don’t. The happiest I have been in YEARS is painting and selling art. I just panic because it’s not making enough money fast enough and I am scared of another Great Depression. And making art and making money seem to be mutually exclusive. Look, never mind me. The title of this Substack includes the word whinge so take with a grain of salt. Also- just let me bitch. you don’t need to try to make me feel better. I have to do that myself.
More art supplies are on their way to me. I got a good deal on some watercolor blocks but had to drop the fluorescent acrylic paints from my Jerry’s cart again. Windsor Newton came out with some super cool new colors of watercolor that I want to get but they will have to wait. I keep comparing myself to other artists, especially on Instagram. I know I’m not that good. I would just like to find a niche. There is also this annoying as fuck thing on Insta with artists turning their canvases around, looking cutely abashed and then text on the screen comes up with: Sharing this art reveal until I find my audience. And you see this shit pushed on the feed. Who the fuck are these people? Also, I bet if you looked they already have many thousands of followers so fuck you. I could to that until the heat death of the universe and I don’t think I’d crack 80+ followers. I have stabilized at 53 (?) followers? I never get many on ant platform.
Anyway, it’s taking me a long time to get working on “products”. I managed to fuck up fixing one of my pin templates. Like I can’t even goddamn trace shit! WTF is wrong with me?? All I have been doing is angry art lately and I’m not sure how far that can get me. It’s at least keeping me clinging to sanity. There is a juried art show coming up that I would have liked to submit to, but I don’t have anything new and I have been spending all my time with Mattie. We are looking for another placement for him, and in the meantime he remains in quarantine. We moved him to a more isolated room and he needs company! His feather plucking problem started because he was left all alone in a back room. But I don’t have the space to work in the room. I am trying out a new schedule so I can spend time in my studio and still make sure Mattie has the company and attention he needs.
The only thing I’ve done with my studio time is some crappy watercolor versions of my de-motivational fruit cats. Strangely I’ve had better luck with color pencil?!?! I have GOT to find my PS7 disc so I can actually scan and edit the art to make it into stickers. I managed to fuck up my cookie cutter templates again!!! I can’t do this! I can’t do anything! I can’t make a symmetrical outline with graph paper and a light table.
And I must apologize- I don’t have art for you this week. I have just been noodling on angry feminist art and there isn’t anything complete. And I HAVE to get back to painting catscapse because those are going to be my bread and butter. I ordered some shikishi boards from Jerrys and I already I drew a shitting catscape on one that I fucked up with inking and with the .02 mechanical pencil. I am so tired of fucking everything up. I’ll probably have to paint it with some gouache because the inks are so atrocious.
Things I’m watching: Tubi has Father Ted which is fucking hilarious and has nothing to do with anything in my life. I’ve seen it before but it’s a good re-watch and if you need something dumb and funny this fits the bill. Mulligan on Netflix is also very funny, and Tina Fey voices one of the characters so of course it has my vote. If you missed it when it came out Inside Job is a great animated comedy, also on Netflix featuring conspiracies come to life and a dysfunctional family with a female lead character.